Ups and downs

So we have had a quite eventful time finding daycare for our sweet little Logan. It seemed that moving home (Dawson) would be the best situation for us b/c we knew that we wanted to raise a family close to our own families. Move home... have babies... raise babies... have them be close to their grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins. It just made sense. We never imagined that moving home would prove to be so difficult on us in the sense of finding daycare.

There are a number of things that I am thankful about in our current situation: 1. We are close to family and they have been willing and able to help us much in the first year and a half, 2. We know most of the people in Dawson and thus have been comfortable sending him to daycare b/c we feel like we 'know' the providers that have been able to take Logan, 3. Logan is an easy-going little boy and he goes with the flow for the most part.

Then, there a number of things that have proved difficult about daycare in Dawson including: 1. We could not find a spot for Logan while he was an infant... and then until he was one... and then after he turned one, etc. etc. which in part lead to number 2. We have had to switch daycare providers a couple times during his short life, 3. We have had to rely on family help more than we'd like to, 4. We miss out on precious time with our sweet boy while we are away at work and he grows and changes, 5. We don't always see eye to eye with our current provider which leads us into our current predicament--- loss of daycare once again.

Now, at 16 months, we are again relying on family support/help and some extra prayers to get through the five week push between now and end of the school year.

I'm sad about this situation. I'm sad b/c of how things ended with our provider. I'm sad to take Logan out of his routine. I'm sad that I feel upset about how the situation was handled and I'm sad that I feel like this small town will thrive off our little bit of daycare drama. I want to have everything be peaches and roses and smoothed over. I want everyone to be happy and nice.... I'm sad that I know Logan was well taken care of, even if we disagreed on certain 'rules' or 'requirements'.

I guess this is a dumb post. I think I just needed to process it all and feel like I'm at peace with the situation. I'm wanting to move on and not wanting to cause hurt/harm/animosity in doing so. I like peace... I like people to be happy. I'm ready to see the end of our current situation and the joy of things that are to come.

I'm thankful that Jesus is the ultimate provider and that He sees and prepares a way for us before we are even in the situation. He is in control and I trust in His ways.

Holy week

What a beautiful time to sit back and remember how important WE are. I have been struggling with the Easter holiday, as of late, just because it was a much anticipated time for celebration and sharing our good news. Looking back on the last three weeks, I am saddened to say that I almost resented the fact that Easter was coming. Why would I want another reminder of the baby that isn't... why would I want to celebrate when my heart is still so broken...

Enter: Jesus. He comes, he comforts, he mends.

HE was broken for me. How could I resent the one day that we are intentionally supposed to celebrate the greatest gift He ever gave?

You see, I have been sad; but, I've been happy more.
I have been hurt; but I've been whole more.
I have been grieving, but I've been celebrating more.

Jesus died for me. And you! He made me whole before I was ever broken. He forgave my sins before I ever committed them. He LOVES with absolutely no reservation. How can I not be excited to celebrate the new life He has given to me?

Our angel baby will celebrate, too. In a more beautiful and glorious way than we here on Earth.

Sad for what was to be... yes.
But more joyful of what is to come... absolutely.

Thank you, Jesus, for your constant love and reminders of your goodness.

Christ is risen... risen indeed!

Luke 24: 6-7
He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ”